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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24038923">Modern Problems, Modern Solutions</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalenmarc/pseuds/Kalenmarc'>Kalenmarc</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:48:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,038</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24038923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalenmarc/pseuds/Kalenmarc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sylvain is an idiot and wakes up his housemates Felix, Dimitri, and Ingrid. What happens next will shock you.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Modern Problems, Modern Solutions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by a Twitter post. I'd like the record to show that I have nothing against chamomile tea or ska music. Can be read as gen or ot4 but it was written with a vibe of "childhood friends who sometimes fight and sometimes cuddle". This was written very early in the morning and barely edited so if you see a mistake, please leave a comment (gently) correcting it. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The silence of the late evening was broken when the sound of a pounding bassline made itself known through the neighboring wall. Felix was a light sleeper on the best of nights but after days of late nights and early lectures, his tolerance for Sylvain’s bullshit was at its limit. How he and his friends went this long sharing a house without something idiotic happening, he didn’t know, but Goddess help them all if they woke Ingrid. He had to act fast.<br/>
<br/>
Felix checked his phone, squinting at the screen (only 1, it brightly informed him, not bad all things considered but his alarm set for 6 disagreed) and opening up their housemate groupchat.<br/>
<br/>
<i>Sylvain turn down your shit</i> he sent, followed by a number of angry emojis. He closed his eyes against the glare but opened them when his phone buzzed almost immediately.<br/>
<br/>
<i>It’s no use, I’m afraid Sylvain isn’t aware of how disruptive he might be.</i> Damnit, Dimitri using punctuation meant that he had been up for some time. He fumbled around for his glasses and a pair of sweatpants from the floor and went out into the hallway. He passed Sylvain’s door on his left, giving it a few good bangs for good measure, but the only answer was that the music changed from the dance music to some generic rock song from the radio. He scowled at the door and continued into the living room. Dimitri was sat at their kitchen table with a book and a cup of something steaming, and he looked up as he saw Felix approaching.<br/>
<br/>
“Good evening, Felix,” Dimitri said with a small smile. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop him before he woke you, but it seems our friend is deaf to the world.” Felix hummed in response and sat down next to Dimitri. He didn’t look all that ruffled by their unwilling concert, but the book, tea, and placid demeanor told Felix that it was one of those nights for him.<br/>
<br/>
“Been up long?” Felix asked, taking a moment to steal a drink from Dimitri’s mug. Ugh, chamomile. He must have made a face because Dimitri huffed out a laugh before answering.<br/>
<br/>
“Only for an hour or so. I hadn’t seen Sylvain all evening so I assumed he was out, or otherwise indisposed.” The song changed again, this time to something more akin to a drum solo than a song, and Dimitri paused, trying to place it, before his face lit up in recognition. “I believe you were the one to introduce us all to this group, if I’m not mistaken?”<br/>
<br/>
Felix scowled at the comment. Of course he did, he was the only one in this damned house with a cultured bone in his body. Without him, they’d all be listening to movie soundtracks or worse, ska.<br/>
<br/>
“And I regret it more every minute we’re still awake.” Dimitri laughed again at that, and Felix’s scowl softened some. “How bad should I kick his ass if he doesn’t shut up soon?” He asked, trying to gauge how intense his intervention should be.<br/>
<br/>
“Surely that’s not necessary, Felix, I can’t imagine he’s doing this intentionally.” As if to punctuate his point, the music increased in volume and Sylvain let out a holler.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m gonna kill him.”<br/>
<br/>
“And I’ll hide the body.” Both of them looked up at Ingrid who entered the room with fuming eyes and one of her many “decorative” swords in hand. “I have a tour in the morning and Annette wants to have a study lunch after and I can <i>not </i>help her if I’m falling asleep into my salad while we’re trying to figure out how physics works.” She punctuated each point with an experimental swing before sitting down on Dimitri’s other side with the sword across her lap. She stole her own drink of Dimitri’s tea. “Ugh, chamomile.” Dimitri looked to the ceiling with a pleading expression.<br/>
<br/>
“I understand why you’re upset, Ingrid, but short of breaking down his door, I don’t know what our options are.”<br/>
<br/>
“There’s an idea,” she muttered. The song changed again.<br/>
<br/>
Felix had an idea then and pulled out his phone. Dimitri and Ingrid talked quietly about his book, some historical fantasy novel Ashe loaned him, when Felix interrupted them.<br/>
<br/>
“What stupid name did Sylvain give his blutooth speaker?”<br/>
<br/>
Ingrid thought for a moment before answering, “Little blue pill, why?”<br/>
<br/>
Felix smirked, and with a deliberate tap, said, “Because it let me connect to it.”<br/>
<br/>
The music from the other room stopped abruptly and after a few seconds was replaced by an indistinct male voice. A few moments later, they heard the sound of a door opening and it became clear - their old gym teacher, Coach Seteth, reading “The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively…” It faded out as Sylvain entered the living room, in surprisingly good spirits despite his interruption.<br/>
<br/>
“Hey gang,” he said with a sheepish chuckle. “What’s got you all up right now?”<br/>
<br/>
The silence spoke volumes, and Ingrid was the first one to break it.<br/>
<br/>
“You're an idiot.” With that, she stood up and went back to her room. Sylvain noticed that she left the sword on the table, and his expression became more pained. Dimitri was next, standing up and finishing his tea in the same moment.<br/>
<br/>
“Sylvain, we love you, but I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say in the future, some consideration would be appreciated.” He clapped Sylvain on the shoulder as he passed by, and Sylvain tried to subtly roll the pain away. Felix’s turn then.<br/>
<br/>
“Hey Fe,” he said, with that strained smile he saved for when he knew he messed up.<br/>
<br/>
“Idiot,” Felix echoed, but ducked his face to hide his smile. “Next time, invite us all or shut the hell up.”<br/>
<br/>
“Message received.” Felix turned off Coach Seteth’s droning then, and turned off the speaker for good measure. <br/>
<br/>“Good <i>night</i>, Sylvain.”<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah, goodnight Fe.” The two of them went back into the hallway, but before he went into his now silent room, Sylvain stopped.<br/>
<br/>
“Hey Fe, why did you have that on hand?”<br/>
<br/>
Felix turned away with a smirk, and as he entered his room, said, “Modern problems require modern solutions.”</p>
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